Do You Need To Be More Vulnerable?

The Power Of Vulnerability

“I’ve been feeling sad recently.” I blurted out. “Why” my friend said in much concern.

That was a very vulnerable statement for me to make at the time, I felt so weak but I know I needed to talk.

It’s not easy being vulnerable, the dictionary defines vulnerability as ‘The quality or state of being exposed’. Exposed! That’s exactly what it feels like when you truly share your heart, it’s almost like you’re bare.

However, the beauty in vulnerability with the ones we love and trust is deeper connectedness, it’s the knowing that we are loved and accepted despite what our exposure reveals about us, good or bad. Vulnerability moves the right relationship from a surface one to an intimate one.

We weren’t made for isolation, we were made for relationship/community. Yet, in order for us to really experience the fullness of a relationship, we need to open up. Unfortunately not everyone is a mind reader, people need to be informed with what you need. You have to be specific and direct. You can’t be offended about something you haven’t communicated. If you communicate and you still feel as though a friend isn’t showing up, then maybe they are the wrong person to ask.

I’ve had my fair share of disappointments, betrayals and rejections so it’s understandable why I am reluctant to be vulnerable at times. However, upon reflection I’ve also realised that maybe I was just vulnerable with the wrong people. Not everyone is like the people who hurt you or let you down.

The people we expose our hearts to are an essential part of our development. I’m better because of the people I not only choose to surround myself with but that I’m willing to be vulnerable with. People are an extension of Gods love for us!

Who can I be vulnerable with?

I believe the character of a person, indicates whether it’s safe to be vulnerable. The bible says, ‘we shall know them by their fruits’. I truly believe this applies to all things, not just identifying false teachers and leaders. (Matthew 7:15-20)

Ask yourself, does their character and the way they conduct themselves, tell me that they are worthy of my trust? Can they handle the most sensitive and intimate parts of who I am? If not, then find someone that can.

Don’t be afraid to seek out new relationships, not just peer on peer but also mentorship with more seasoned and mature people. Expose yourself to environments that allow you to meet new people. You are never too old to meet new people.

Above all, we have a Father who is 100% interested in our weaknesses, as much as He is with our strengths. He cares and He won’t despise the sensitive and tender parts of us. Beyond the lovely articulated prayers and the structured quiet times, God desires to get to the heart of your matters. (Psalms 34:17-19)


Susan Deborahs