In this blog I share my experience with church hurt and how it effected me in different ways.
Losing My Faith
The biggest hit to my faith was in 2014 when the church I was so embedded in and committed to, closed down. The pastor had been living a double life basically and the church was no longer able to stand for whatever reason. It came as a shock to many of us.
He was someone that I saw as a father, someone that I respected highly and looked up to, I believed in him. There were so many lies, so many ways in which he had manipulated and betrayed many of us. Personal information I disclosed to this pastor in confidence, I learnt was shared with other people. It hurt deeply!
A lot of things came out besides the misdemeanours of our leader that affected friendships, the knit that we had as a church began to dissolve. My old church was family for me and I lost some friends that I truly loved deeply. It was a very traumatic time for everyone – the levels to what happened are deep and I don’t believe a blog post can do it justice.
God let me down
I thought God spoke to me clearly – why didn’t He speak to me about what was going on behind closed doors, so I could escape this madness? I felt so let down by God.
I didn’t want to be in no black church, I didn’t want anyone to speak into my life (prophesy) or lay hands on me and I definitely didn’t